Stress Bunny

Canadian Adventure

2006-07-13T22:04:00.000Z

So I've been to Toronto and now I'm back. I had such a fantastic time. Toronto is an absoultely amazing city and seeing AK was so nice. It was as if we had never been apart and it made me realise just what he means to me. I miss him so badly now. Not only did the old feelings come flooding back but big huge new feelings were added on top. It's really rubbish. I think I'd do anything to be with him right now :( Ooh ooh I think I might be becoming the psycho hose beast I promised myself not to become when he left!!!!! Oh well, I can't be nice and normal all the time ;)

We did loads of fun stuff. We went up the CN Tower which is bloody high! In fact it's the tallest building in the world. We both stood on the glass floor looking down onto the city. It was really scary but we were brave. Well I was until some kid started jumping on the glass and I ran off in an almost blind panic :)

We rented some bikes and went for a quick cycle around the island in the middle of Ontario lake which was really good fun. We sat on the grass and ate a huge pizza whilst being eyed up by a mass of seagulls. One of them looked and behaved like The Godfather whilst another bore a striking resemblance to Sting.

The nights were my favourite. We found a lovely bar where we managed to get drunk off three drinks and ended up buying hotdogs in the local seven eleven and slurping a free Slurpee. Great fun!

We spent a lot of time just chilling out together and it was so nice. AK would stick on some cool music and I'd read my book whilst he played on the computer. This might not seem very holidayish but it was like the old days and I loved it. There was a torrential downpour on my last day and we got stuck in a doorway looking out at it. We ran into a hardware store which had the most random stuff known to man on sale. Doll arms, springs, different sized pieces of glass, old computer bits, plastic toys of The Incredible Hulk, glass eyes for teddy bears..... Really weird. For some reason this is one of my nicest memories of the holiday. Just being together having fun. God I sound like a big sentimental crazy girl.

I bloody love Toronto. AK has done so well there too. I'm so proud of him and his adventure :) I'd love to write everything that we got up to but I'd be typing forever. I hope everything works out for us, I really do.

The Second Coming

2006-06-23T17:20:00.000Z

These women have insured themselves against the possible costs associated with raising The Second Coming should they immaculately conceive.

Immaculate Conception

So how would they prove to the insurance company that this was an immaculate conception and why would they need a million quid anyway? If I was raising Christ I'd expect people to be bringing me stuff like...ummm.... myrr, frankinscence and gold. I would then sell these on, apart from the gold which I would have melted down and made into a necklace saying "Jesus Loves You"

I'd appear in Hello! magazine in my new mansion showing off my immaculatley conceived baby and getting more coverage than Angelina Jolie.

Mary didn't have any money let alone £1 million. Maybe it's for security guards? Maybe it's all crazy bollocks and maybe I'm thinking about it too much ; )

I apologise to any religious people who are reading this but I just think this story is very amusing!

I wonder if I should take out an insurance policy which will cover my bills should I be abducted by aliens and return to Earth 50 years later but not have aged at all, hmmmm.

Flying is scary but worth it

2006-05-22T17:06:00.000Z

Another post already! This one is dedicated to my fear of flying. How interesting! So I'm flying out to Canada at the end of June to see AK. I'm really looking forward to seeing him and visiting Toronto. It's going to be brilliant! :) My only concern is the part where I have to get on a Boeing 757 and fly across the Atlantic!

I've flown so much in my life but my fear of flying has not been cured. I've flown to America a number of times and thought I was getting better. Then I suffered a major set back when I flew to Paris with my mother and sister. The flight was horrendous. Terrible turbulence on a tiny plane which was 3 seats across and had propellers (according to my mother who may be lying to make me feel better!). We were really being thrown about! I think I may have had a mini panic attack or something :( I was quite sure that the plane was going to crash and I couldn't move or talk for over an hour. I just sat there with my big coat on, hood up, silently crying. It was very embarassing. The air stewards kept on bringing me bottles of water to make me feel better. Needless to say, it didn't work. My mother was trying to show me interesting articles in a magazine to take my mind of the fact that the plane kept on dropping a number of feet every 2 minutes. It was bad and some people actually shrieked.

It was such a strange experience because I've never cried from fear before. I suppose the reason for my freaking out was that I had absolutely no control over what was happening. I couldn't escape and no amount of bottled water was going to make me calm down. I don't really feel silly for turning into a mad crying person. It's never happened before and hopefully won't again! My mother and sister admitted to me later that it really was a scary flight and me freaking out made them feel better because they were being strong and smiley for me and wouldn't allow themselves to think about how bad it was. They're so sweet, but I feel a bit bad about it. By the end of the flight I was almost catatonic and surrounded with bottles of water. Quite amusing really.

I was prescribed Valium for other flights that I went on that year. I don't really think it worked because it was such a low dose but it was a good placebo. I've flown long haul to Las Vegas since that evil flight to Paris and I was fine. I think I'll be ok on this flight because I'll be on my own so there will be no sympathetic, concerned looks. I'll just have to bloody well get on with it and not be such a moo. My housemate (whilst drunk) told me that my fear is stupidly irrational and that I'm being f**king ridiculous. Well that's sorted me out :)

I also think that I'll be so excited to see AK that I won't care about the turbulence. We're going to be tourists around Toronto! Though he's not a tourist anymore! It's going to be a bit strange seeing AK after 3 whole months but I'm so looking forward to it. I realise how much I miss him when I think about seeing him again :) I'm going to give him such a huge cwtch when I see him. I can't wait!

Anyway, I'm not going to stress over the flight. There's no point. I'm getting on that plane no matter what and worrying about it isn't going to make any difference. It's going to be fine, I'll be fine, the plane will be fine, the flight will be fine, the food will be gross but that's fine and Toronto will be fantabulous!

Poor misunderstood Cookie Monster and new job

2006-05-20T21:26:00.000Z

I haven't written a post in ages. Mostly because I've not had much to say. I have a new job which I suppose is quite interesting. I work in the university now and I'm enjoying it so far. My boss is a strange little man. He speaks really quietly and seems quite shy but it's all a facade. I think I've seen a different side to him recently. A slightly evil side. Only because he's making me do loads of work that I don't want to do. I have to co-ordinate exam rooms which I find quite daunting. What happens if I mess up? I'll be in the shit!

I went to a house warming party last week which was great fun. I drank a little bit too much rose wine and got a bit tiddly, oops! I got home at 4.30am and crept in like a little drunken mouse so as not to wake my housemates. Luckily my housemates were not asleep but dancing to Britney Spears in the conservatory. Needless to say I joined them though I refrained from doing any sexy dancing to that slave song : )

I've stumbled across a rather amusing website called McSweeney's which has published loads of cool and funny stories. My favourites include:

Cookie Monster Searches Deep Within Himself and Asks: Is Me Really Monster?
By Andy F. Bryan

David Caruso Scolds His Cat About Its Lackadaisical Litter-Box Use
By Brian Graham

This Is Your Brain on Drugs
By Greg Ruehlmann

On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor
By Joshua Tyree

They made me giggle. It's very important to have a giggle now and then :) So I loved the Cookie Monster when I was small. I thought he was great fun with his crazy cookie binges but obviously some people think he's a bad influence. Read this, hmmmmmm. How can he be a Cookie Monster if he's munching on cabbage?

Death by cuteness

2006-04-15T15:43:00.000Z

I am in such a foul mood today. I've gone from being highly motivated and optimistic to being comlpletely negative and droopy. Though I do start a new job on Wednesday! It's working at the University. Just an admin role but much much better pay, yai! Think of all the lovely things I can buy! I'll kick this moodiness soon though. Probably a combination of missing AK and having a rather boring life at the moment. I see my mood as very navy coloured at the moment rather than it's usual orange and pink. I'll have a nice chat with him later because he never fails to cheer me up. I could really do with a nice big cwtch today. I need one more than I've ever needed one before!

I went and bought loads of cleaning products today because I feel the need to sort out my room on more than a surface level, crazy stuff! I think I might move my bed around to make the room look different. AK gave me a toy cat when he left which he named 'Substitute Cwtch'. Unfortunately Mr Cwtch sleeps on the pillow next to me and is black so sometimes when I wake up in the morning for a split second I think it's AK's head (he has black hair)! It's not very nice when I realise that I'm actually in bed alone and AK is in bloody Canada. I can't change where Mr Cwtch sleeps so I'll just change the bed location. I hope it works : )

P.S. If you need cheering up or just an injection of utter cuteness then visit www.babyanimalz.com I nearly died of a cute overload. Though if you look four pics down on the left, there appears to be a baby ewok, hmmm.

P.P.S. Is it cruel to dye chicks different colours?

Sinful sloth

2006-03-23T22:37:00.000Z

Firstly: I cannot believe I was sad enough to do this test in the first place. Secondly: I seem to love my blog at the moment. Thirdly: Sloth! I am no sloth. Just because I said that I see nothing wrong with staying in bed until past noon on the weekend. Is that so wrong? I am very lazy though. Is low pride a bad thing? Apparently I'm not lusty but quite greedy.
Stupid bloody test ; )

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Low
Pride:	Very Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

I name this country.......

2006-03-22T22:57:00.001Z

I've been feeling quite motivated recently. I'm probably just trying to keep busy so that I don't spend my days thinking about how much I miss AK. I can't believe that it's been a week already! It was horrible coming home on Monday. I kept on thinking that AK would call to say he's popping over for a cwtch. Silly me.

My room looked as though it had been ransacked by a crazed burglar. I'd not actually tidied it in ages and coming home to such a mess was awful. I was ok until my mother called and then I was blubbing like a depressed chimp. I have now tidied and am feeling much better! Strange what a tidy room can do for your psyche ; )

I went shopping today and bought tight sporty trousers and a swimsuit. I look appalling in both but then if they looked great on me I wouldn't need to be exercising! God I hate exercise, but it must be done! My arse is slowly expanding to the size of a small country. I have to decrease it's girth before the first settlers arrive. I want to start going to yoga (not Yoda) because I feel all stiff and my back hurts sitting at my desk in work. It helps strengthen your muscles you see! I'm not going for the whole meditation bollocks side of things though. My housemate is coming with me because I'm feeling a bit too shy to start going on my own. How childish : )

I've applied for loads of jobs but have had no success yet. I can't take my job anymore. I have a building site outside my window, a very loud mental patient ward on one side and to cap it off some garlic loving Occupational therapists have just moved into the room next door. I might stick an "out of order" sign on their microwave and remove the fuse from the plug when they're not in. There is a time and a place for garlic and the workplace is not it! ; )

Don't let them eat cake

2006-03-18T23:23:00.000Z

I made a chocolate cake today. It turned out like a biscuit even though I weighed all the ingredients carefully. I have found in the past that when I'm feeling unhappy I lose my ability to cook good pasta. It now appears that the same thing applies to cakes. Though I never was any good at making cakes. I covered my cake in chocolate fudge icing, hundreds and thousands and strawberries. It looked fantastic! Tasted rubbish : (

Tried uploading a photo of my cake but even my own blog thinks it's awful and won't let me! Boo hoo.

Worse things happen at sea

2006-03-17T16:31:00.000Z

So AK is in Canada! I cannot believe it! Seems very weird and I'm completely at a loss. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I have ever ever done because I love him so much. I'm sure I've never cried so much in my life! I don't think I can bear to have him so far away from me. I suppose I'll just have to be strong though. I did say that I wouldn't turn into a mentalist when he leaves. I can't back out now, it's in writing and posted below, damn!

I'm back in Wales at the moment looking after my mother's dog whilst she's away in Germany. It was nice seeing my Mammy and getting big hugs. I am so going to miss the cwtches, though AK is very kindly sending them to me via our own personal psychic connection ; ) I've also been given a toy cat which is a substitute cwtch, which seems to be working quite well.

I will always remember what a good friend of mine once said to another friend of mine after her boyfriend called her fat and ran off with a slimmer girl.................. Worse things happen at sea. I'm sure it's true so instead of feeling sorry for myself maybe I should think of all those poor seamen who have worse things happening to them. Not sure what they might be though, apart from being eaten by a giant squid. I can understand how that might be worse. Only just though!

I've been looking at jobs on the internet and have applied for two! How motivated am I? I applied for a job the other day and I really thought I had a chance at getting an interview but noooooooo! Bastards! Have also seen what appears to be the ideal room to rent in Bristol. It an attic room, living with 2 guys and it has an en-suite! Bit pricey but I have to go and see it just in case it's amazing. I have a feeling it's going to be full of spiders and have mould creeping out of the toilet and up the walls, ewwww! But fingers crossed!

I'm really don't want to go back to Bristol. My room is a shambolic mess and I hate my job. It may be ok if I go back on a sunny day but if it's wet and dreary I might have a meltdown. My life feels all empty at the moment and AK has only been gone for 2 days! I wish I was there with him helping him find a nice place to live and sharing the fun. I suppose I'll just have to have my own fun! Um...... so maybe I'll join a club? Nothing that involves sport though. Also I have no money. By that I mean I have NOOOOOOO money. My card was declined at a florists the other day. Now that is rubbish!

Hello little guys

In my next post I will share with you the wonders of Bristol Zoo. It will involve an encounter with spiny mice and prairie dogs. There will be a certain lack of monkeys but all will be revealed soon. I will also be happier. Maybe even chirpy and brimming with sunny thoughts. Please don't hold your breath ;)

Everybody needs good neighbours..........

2006-02-27T22:52:00.000Z

I was a good girl today and called my mate M who I haven't spoken to in ages. She lives in Swansea at the mo and is planning on doing a Phd. Very clever is M. We studied together at uni, M getting a first and me a 2:2, oops! I don't know how that happened because she was out on the piss for the majority of our time there! Though she knuckled down in the last year and worked really hard revising and stuff. I always thought that as long as I'm sat on my bed with lecture notes strewn everywhere and a pen in my hand then I was doing work even if the tv was on and I was watching it and it was neighbours, the second episode of neighbours having watched the same one earlier on in the day.

I really was your stereotypically lazy student. In order to get me up in time for our weekly 9am lecture, my mate H used to bring me a cup of tea in bed. How absolutely disgraceful is that? I then used to go downstairs and try to find something interesting to watch on the TV hoping H would start watching and forget the time and the oops, too late for our lecture, DAMN shame. I also used this trick in the uni bar occupying M and H with beer and witty conversation ; )

I cannot believe that I managed to get a 2:2. I went to see my 3rd year project supervisor 1 week before the project deadline and she didn't know who I was. I wish I could go back and do it again. I'm still very lazy but now I manage to get up before 9am without any tea waiting on my bedside table. H would be so proud!

Bees are good

2006-02-12T21:57:00.000Z

AK and I went to Oxford this weekend. Had a really nice time. We stayed in a 4 star hotel and went for dinner at 'Le Petit Blanc'. The food was gorgeous and AK secretly ordered a bottle of Bollinger for us which I thought was really sweet of him : ) I've never had it before and it was yummalicious! Over the years I've gone from drinking Lambrini to Asti Spumante to Cava to Champagne. I'm a classy lady now!

The following morning we had our cooked breakfasts brought to our room which was pretty cool and then headed off to the natural history museum. Loads of interesting exhibits including a huge Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton. Bloody scary! What I find scarier however is the fact that there are so many people out there who don't believe in evolution. Hellooooo?! They should all be made to go to the museum and see the evidence for themselves. You can't really deny a 16ft dinosaur when it's in the room ; )

There was also a small hive of bees making honey. Clever buggers bees, though it really grossed me out seeing them all crawling around behind the glass.

On a bit of a downer now because that's our last trip together for the next 12 months if not ever! We plan on having a fun day out before he goes though. I've decided that we have to go to the zoo to see some monkeys. It can't get more fun than that surely!

This is one cool monkey

Growl!

2006-01-30T23:47:00.000Z

I'm so cheesed off at the moment. I can't get bloody Microsoft word to install on my laptop! What does it want from me?! Does it not want me to update my CV which will allow me to get a new job and therefore have more money to buy nice clothes and pretty things and loads of geeky DVDs and an extensive collection of books?! Hmm? Evidently not.

My laptop crashed too which was nice. Luckily it's quite new so I just about managed to stop myself putting it into the microwave on high for 7 mins until piping hot throughout (and on fire).

I am nevertheless in a good mood today. No reason, just am. I think I may have un-pmt. Surely if I can have PMT and what I call the horrendous monthly evilness of pain and doom, there should be a time of the month when my hormones are all perky and fantastically buoyant? It's only fair and I shall henceforth name that time of the month un-pmt. Not very original but it's late and the creative side of my brain has brushed it's teeth, put it's PJs on and gone to bed. I think I'll follow it : ) Goodnight.

The God of Fortune Cookies

2006-01-29T21:25:00.000Z

I've just opened a fortune cookie to find the following wonderous message:

"Good luck bestows upon you. You will get what your heart desires"

Well isn't that nice? The god of fortune cookies must be pretty bloody clever to know what my heart desires. I don't even know myself! I suppose being happier would be nice. Also winning the lottery ; ) Maybe you're not meant to know what your heart's desire is until you actually have it. I'll let you know.

Did you know that fortune cookie in French is gateaux chinois? Fascinating really. Now you can walk into a chinese shop in France and say "Je voudrais un gateaux chinois, sil vous plait" and hey presto.... a fortune cookie is yours!

So I've nothing else to say really. I'm just going to chill out surfing the net and waiting for my heart's desire to land in my lap : )

The quest to find an interesting blog

2006-01-24T23:01:00.001Z

I've been pressing the next blog button for a while now and have yet to find a blog that's really captured my interest. My boyfriends blog is fun and I promise I'm not being biased, it's called Canada or broke (or both). You should visit it! Go on!

I clicked the next blog button the other day and found myself looking directly at a lady's unclad rude bits. This blog had no writing just various women in compromising poses. How rude! I also found a blog by a girl who is obsessed with Nicole Richie which I found far more troubling than the exposed breasts blog!

If you enjoyed reading my terribly interesting, witty, informative, exciting, nail biting "whatever will that crazy girl do next?" blog and have one that you think is loads better (not difficult) let me know so that I can have a read! If your blog is full of cavorting nude women, please keep it to yourself ; ) I mean it!

Sshhh!!!!

2006-01-17T22:02:00.000Z

So I went to that party on Saturday. It was a laugh. It was nice to see my mate H. Some of the guys there were quite pervy. Bit of a shame because I would have liked to have met some nice people. Then a fight kicked off. All great drama really. I drank far too much rose wine and yummy cocktails. Got home at 1sh slammed open the front door so that it banged on the wall and echoed throughout the house. I then stood completely still in the hall in the dark for about 5mins because if you stay very very quiet after you've made a very loud noise it kind of cancels it out. That seems perfectly reasonable when you're drunk anyway!

Lay across my bed for 30mins willing myself to get up and at least take my contact lenses out before falling asleep. Had a txt off my boyfriend at 2.30am asking if I was still at the party. Wrote a txt message back saying "No I'm at home but you're welcome to come over and bring pizza" Woke up at 6am with the phone in my hand and the message still on the screen unsent, damn! Probably best as AK was a complete hungover mess on Sunday. Nothing that gingerbeer and a Dominos pizza couldn't sort out though, yummy!

I've actually been eating quite well of late. I weighed myself on Thursday last week and I was 11st 6lb. I was very unimpressed by this. By unimpressed I mean completely devastated and feeling like a complete fatty! So no more pies for me!

Eat the frog

2006-01-14T16:56:00.000Z

Eating the frog is doing the most boring, dreaded, lengthy, whatever task at the beginning of the day so that it's out of the way and out of your mind! Your mind is then free to think of other more important or interesting things. Seems a bit obvious really. But I'm a procrastinator so I'm going to have to learn to eat my frog on a daily basis. Can't wait.

I had an interesting day today. Drove down to Cardiff to visit my aunty's boyfriend AM as he knows loads of stuff about motivation, how to overcome certain obstacles in life, reach your goals etc. This is where the frog thing came from. I'm not losing it honestly! He's just set up a new business, written a book, appeared on TV and is on the radio next week. He was interviewed by Brian Dowling of Big Brother fame. Hee hee! Cool stuff : )

So we discussed me getting a new job and why am I not motivated. What's holding me back from filling out those application forms? Why won't I get off my fat arse and do something? (my words not his!) I kind of worked out that I'm not motivated because I have a little countdown in my head until the time my bofriend goes away. I'm always thinking that I'll do something in March when AK leaves. AK is code for my boyfriend, sorry if that was obvious! ; ) But as AM pointed out, am I really going to all of a sudden become motivated in March? That's probably going to be when I'm the least happy and very unmotivated. I need to get the ball rolling before then. In my new positive language I should be saying that "I am going to get the ball rolling before then"

Anyway enough of that for now I'm bored. Let's talk about something else. I'm off to a house party tonight. Not sure if I want to go. Will it be full of boring people talking about boring stuff and getting more boring as they get more drunk? Maybe I could play a drinking game all by myself called "Drink until everyone gets interesting again!" Could be fun! Only problem is that I'll probably be too hammered to understand what people are saying to me, let alone decide whether they're interesting yet. Ho hum. Have you ever seen that Mr Bean episode where he throws a party and everyone is sitting around dwiddling their thumbs and looking at the clock? Hmmm. I really shouldn't be so pessimistic. I only actually know 2 people going and they're both quite interesting so it should be fine! Maybe I'll make some brand new friends to have exciting jaunts and general merriment with! I'll let you know how it goes.

For the curious, this post was written whilst listening to Automatic for the people - REM.
Fav track is 'Find the river'. Bloody love it!!
Fav line: 'None of this is going my way'

Hello

2006-01-13T23:09:00.000Z

So loads of people I know read blogs or have blogs or read and have blogs so I thought "I want one!"

The only problem is that most people seem to be leading interesting lives or have interesting opinions or have crazy plans or work in a zoo or have 80 kids or have travelled to the back of beyond and then there's me. I can't say that my life is boring but there's nothing about it that's particularly special or standy outty!

I’m 24, I'm a girl, I live in Bristol and I have a lovely boyfriend. I suppose the really exciting thing about me is that I work in admin! Ok that's rubbish but stay tuned as I am planning on turning this sad life around!

The reason for this is that my boyfriend is moving abroad for a whole year! We decided not to do the whole long distance thing as can you really be celibate for a year? Ok that's not actually the reason I think we should break up. It's just that he's going over there because he needs to sort himself out, get away from the everyday drudgery of Bristol which he has been in for a number of years now. I really do think he needs to do this before he goes mad or explodes and he can't break free if he has me dragging at his heels constantly asking him "What did you do today? Who did you see? Who have you met?" This will no doubt lead to "are you seeing someone else? Well are you? Don't lie to me! sob sob sob" and then psycho hose beast will enter the relationship and it'll all go tits up. I really don't want him to go but I know it's something he needs to do and he'll be so much happier for it. At the risk of sounding incredibly soppy, his happiness is very important to me because I love him very much. Ok that's as cheesy as I get so please don't press the little x at the corner of your screen just yet!

I'm not a psycho girlfriend at the moment but I certainly have the potential. So anyhoo, long story short. I want to have this time to sort my life out just as he needs time to sort out his. I just have the brave task of doing this in Bristol rather than in a different continent.

So what does one do when trying to sort out their sad lives? I have really nice friends dotted around England and Wales but I need Bristol friends! I'm not from here originally and have been reasonably lame at keeping up with friendships, oops! I have a few at the moment, but my loveliest lovely who I will call Curly is moving away in Feb. Do I smell?

I also need to get a new job. I can't possibly be an admin bunny for the rest of my life. I was previously a phone monkey. I haven't really moved up in the world. I do have a psychology degree though. But that means nothing unless I actually get off my arse and LOOK FOR A NEW JOB!!

Um, what else. I can't concentrate as The Simpsons is on and it's one of those really old episodes where their hair is all the wrong colour and their voices are weird! Oh yes, I want to move into a different house! The girls I live with are great but I really want to live in Clifton, or on Whiteladies or Park St. It's all very necessary if I plan on getting out more! Moving somewhere new is a great way to meet people. God I'm sad!

Plan of action

1. Get a new job
2. Find somewhere else to live
3. Not turn into a psycho when my boyfriend leaves

If I think that somebody is actually reading this then maybe it'll motivate me to get off my big behind and do something. If I don't I might fall into a black hole of despair and nobody wants that! Well at least I don't!

4. Lose weight
5. Quit smoking (in March)

So goodbye. I promise not to be a big boring sod next time I write. Just wanted to give you a mini run down on me and my sad life soon to be turned sparkly and fantastic! Hmmm!